Go M.A.D.

Next Level Romance (with Special Guests Doug and Brad's wives!)

• Season 3 • Episode 7

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On today’s show, Doug and Brad bring their better halves, Anna and Sara, into the studio to talk love languages. But first, Brad has to break out a box of that weird heart candy that only shows up in February and Doug conducts a very confusing game of two truths and a lie. The four Hutchcrafts leave us with some incredible advice about being Christ’s ambassador in your marriage. If you’d like to take the quiz that they reference, go to https://5lovelanguages.com.



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Speaker 1:

What's up everyone? Jesse here, producer for GoMad, with Doug and Brad. On today's show, doug and Brad bring their better halves, anna and Sarah, into the studio to talk love languages. But first Brad has to break out a box of that weird heart-shaped candy that only shows up in February, and Doug conducts a very confusing game of Two Truths and Alive. But eventually the four Hutchcrafts leave us with some incredible advice about being Christ's ambassador in your marriage. If you'd like to take the quiz that they reference, go to 5lovelanguagescom Link in the description. Okay, ready, let's go, man.

Speaker 2:

So we're gonna be talking about Valentine's Day's coming up and if you're listening to this after Valentine's Day, just know it was coming up, just turn it off. It was.

Speaker 3:

No, because we're talking about love, and marriage and all that good stuff today, but do you know what it means with Valentine's Day coming up?

Speaker 2:

That's right, candy hearts, the worst thing ever made for anyone ever.

Speaker 3:

That sounds like my knee when I wake up in the morning. You gotta take one and tell me what it says. Trust me, you don't have to eat it, thank you.

Speaker 2:

What does yours say, Doug?

Speaker 4:

Let's see.

Speaker 3:

Smush on you, wait, wait, crush on you. That sounds violent, I'd prefer you just leave me alone. I don't know what to do with this now.

Speaker 4:

Mine says XOXO. What is that spell?

Speaker 5:

It's great, it's great, it's a wrap.

Speaker 2:

All right, sarah, marry me. I already did Boy. All right, and you said marry me. And the one I called I do. Oh, my goodness, it's love. It's so awesome it's meant to be and they'll get these far away from me.

Speaker 3:

That is awesome, it's awesome to have our wives with us here today. Look, I married a beautiful woman. I was Well.

Speaker 2:

I did too.

Speaker 3:

You did too. I was recently. Anna's not going to like that I'm telling this story, but I was oh boy. I was on a shuttle bus from a parking area in a rental car place and they were bringing me back to the airport. And we're walking out of the bus door and the driver goes excuse me, sir, is that your wife? And I said yeah, it is. And he said she's beautiful. You know, you know you married up big time, right, stranger, I'm like, I'm aware, but thanks so much for the reminder.

Speaker 2:

That is fantastic.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, he said big time, that's awesome. That's awesome, yeah, it was and the adding big time. Thanks so much. That's fantastic, all right. So, with Valentine's Day here, real quick, I want to play a quick game. This is Two Lies and a Truth, so I'm going to tell you guys three facts about Valentine's Day. Play along if you're listening, all right, okay, and you guys got to tell me which two are the truth, which one is the lie.

Speaker 2:

Okay, I've always been a great test taker, not true?

Speaker 3:

First one nearly 250 million roses are grown in preparation for Valentine's Day each year. That's the first one. Second one Americans spent nearly $26 billion on Valentine's Day in 2023. Okay, finally, valentine's Day began when a man from Bayonne, new Jersey, named Joey Valentine, started dressing up in public as Cupid. He took photos and sent them to Hallmark, and the rest is history.

Speaker 5:

Wow, how many of these are true. Joey Valentine, none, I don't know any of them.

Speaker 3:

One of them is a lie. It's not true. Maybe that one's obvious. All right, good old Joey Valentine. All right, oh, I'm Cupid.

Speaker 2:

Hallmark. He's a con. So here we are. It is Love Month and before, if you were someone that is single listening to this episode and you're like, great, we've got married couples on and everything else today, please stay tuned, because we're going to be talking about something that applies to everyone, that, whether you learn these things now, or, in fact, if you learn them now, before you're married, even better. Because did you know, doug, we're going to talk some about love languages today, but not your typical. Hey, here are the five long love languages. Figure out which one you are. We've got more we're diving into, but I didn't know until this morning that they are celebrating the 30th anniversary of the five love languages book by Gary Chabin.

Speaker 3:

I didn't know that I had no idea. It's great time.

Speaker 3:

It's a great time to be talking about this and, like Brad said, whether you've been married for two weeks, two decades, 50 years or you're not married at all, stay tuned because we're going to get into some interesting stuff I wasn't even aware of till I started looking into this a little bit. Sarah actually Brad's wife sent me an article recently, sent us all an article about a study that had just been done that showed that divorce rates are skyrocketing. But listen, among who? Actually, the rates are getting better, among 20 and 30 somethings, which was encouraging, but they're like doubling and tripling. From people aged 55 and up, it's doubled in the last 10 years and 65 and up it has tripled. And what the article said? After they did, these researchers did some more looking into it. They realized that the couples that were getting divorced, their kids had left the house and once that happened, the couples realized they didn't know each other anymore. At some point the way they put it kind of the pursuit stopped, they stopped getting to know each other and appreciating each other, started to take each other for granted and then, by the time the kids left, it was kind of too late and they just gave up on it.

Speaker 3:

And what I love about the Love Languages book, but we're not really going to talk about the book a ton today. But we are going to talk about what it means to love your spouse in the way that they feel loved. Because whether and that's important whether you like it or not, you don't really get to decide as the spouse what makes your spouse feel loved. You might wish that they felt loved by maybe you do the dishes and you go man. That must really thrill them. But they have a different Love Language, like maybe it's compliments we're going to get to this in a minute, so we got a Wait, a second.

Speaker 2:

Wait, wait, wait. You're telling me that what we're covering today we're not covering the five Love Languages, so I can know how I'm supposed to be loved more. I thought this was about figuring out what I need. What are?

Speaker 3:

my needs. I'm putting my hand on Brad's shoulder and I'm looking him in the eyes right now. One thing about love it's not about you.

Speaker 5:

What a sweet brother. There's no you in love you can just turn this off, that is.

Speaker 3:

That's the. There's no you in the letter. Wait a minute.

Speaker 2:

That's true. Hold on, I'm googling that no.

Speaker 3:

I in love.

Speaker 2:

There's no I in love, that probably would work better.

Speaker 3:

But figuring out the Love Language of your spouse or your significant other is important. How do they feel loved? I remember Brad brought this up to me the other day my lovely wife, anna, hi, anna, hi. So when we first met 30 something years ago, anna is is full blood Navajo from Arizona. I grew up in New Jersey, the suburbs of New Jersey. It's kind of an unpredictable love story, but I wanted to really connect with her. I knew she spoke Navajo, I didn't know how. So I asked the Navajo friend of mine could you tell me something I could say to Anna in Navajo that would really impress her. Now I'm putting a lot of trust in this guy because he could tell me. He's kind of a wise guy. He could tell me anything. So he says okay, go and tell her. Nonciscous, I practice it. I go to Anna, look her in the eyes and Anna, that's this case. And she said why do you want to chase my sheep? No, it meant I'm thinking of you and it actually worked, mr Smooth here.

Speaker 3:

My response was her response oh yeah, that's right. Her response was should do and I go. That's awesome. I don't know what that means. Did you just say she wouldn't tell me? Did you just say get lost? No, but it meant me too. But it's kind of a good example of how understanding speaking someone's language and in this case their love language, can make a huge difference in, maybe, a marriage that's struggling. If your marriage is healthy, it can make it stronger. So we're going to get into that.

Speaker 2:

This impacts relationships as well. It's even if you're someone, that you're single maybe you're younger and you're still at home you haven't left home yet and you're with your parents to be able to understand someone's love. Language impacts relationships as a whole. In fact, I believe that Dr Gary Chapman actually has written follow-up books that deal with some of those even applying these in other relationships and everything, and it was a huge part of that.

Speaker 2:

But the reality is that this is goes beyond just marriage. But marriage is where it is especially important to know what your spouse needs from you. And the reality is you said the word before Doug pursue. And that's really. I love that concept, that mindset behind this, that it is about a continued pursuit of the one you love, that it isn't a, this isn't a. Hey, we the race was to the altar and now I got the person I wanted, and cool, that's great. No, that's not where. That's not the finish line, that's really the starting line. The marriage, where the marriage begins, should be the starting line of just this lifelong pursuit of one another and finding out more about each other.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, this love languages book. Look it up, it was a huge hit.

Speaker 3:

Millions and millions, oh yeah, millions and millions of copies and, of course, once it becomes huge, there's tons of sequels. There was like 30 of them. The most recent one was like the love language of cats and turns out it's cat food, but you don't need to be validated. So, okay, if you don't know a lot about love languages, google it, check it out. But here's a little introduction to it. There's actually a test you can take if you hear these options and you're not sure. But according to the love languages, there are five. Okay, five love languages. What are they?

Speaker 4:

Words of affirmation.

Speaker 3:

Where's the baffermatial compliments okay.

Speaker 4:

Quality time and gifts.

Speaker 5:

There's also acts of service and physical touch.

Speaker 3:

Interesting. Could you have a guess on Sarah? It was so tempting. Anna actually took the test. I did. It was so tempting to ask what they were. But so I had a guess and she kind of gave me a hint and I actually got the top two right Okay so what would they be for Anna?

Speaker 2:

What are they for you, Anna? What did you say?

Speaker 4:

Mine was quality time, and I'm trying to remember what the second one was. I think it was an acts of service. Acts of service.

Speaker 3:

So because there's apparently, according to the book and I think this is true when you start to check out this test here that there's a primary love language and then there's a secondary one. So these are kind of your top two, do you guys?

Speaker 2:

How about for you? What are your?

Speaker 3:

Well, I am a dude and I hate saying this in front of other people, but somehow mine was the sixth one watching football with me.

Speaker 2:

Wow, we're going to be baseball.

Speaker 3:

But I mean, and not keep asking me what a first down is. No, it actually is words of affirmation, which was interesting to me, because you're a guy, you're all.

Speaker 5:

I don't need no one to tell me I'm good Dude you know, that's the voice I hear in my head, by the way when?

Speaker 3:

I think no, it was words of affirmation and acts of service.

Speaker 2:

You should have smiled I've been taking the test, but I Well, yeah for what you think for me.

Speaker 5:

No, what you think for me.

Speaker 2:

What I think for you, I would say that yours are. I got to go with acts of service first, because I mean the way you light up when I get really excited when he loads the little Do something, no wash your own socks. You wash your socks I love you when I do the laundry, especially when I do dishes. I know just what that means to you. And then I would say the other would be quality time, I think. But what would you say for your second one?

Speaker 3:

You can tell by the look on Sarah's face. You're completely wrong.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I got the first one right though.

Speaker 5:

The first one that's important Absolutely on the first one, definitely quality time is a high one. Words of affirmation is also high. I didn't take the test, so I'm just.

Speaker 2:

No, for me I would say probably the words of affirmation is pretty huge, and then well, the it's. Is it weird to say physical touch on a podcast? I don't, I mean, just because I mean the Just don't extrapolate.

Speaker 3:

Is there a different kind of touch than physical? By the way, I was looking at that and it's like I don't know where this is going.

Speaker 5:

The emotional touch, emotional touch, but we but I mean the I think there's an 80's song about that somewhere, so we'll just move on there. Moving on I also don't mind receiving gifts.

Speaker 2:

Let's be honest, that's.

Speaker 3:

So it's important. It really, I think, does mean a lot to get this figured out. Because, again, whether you're like oh, I don't know about a test, the idea that we don't take our spouses for granted, the idea that in a life that gets so busy, there's so much to do, you're taking care of the kids, there's the job and everything, All of a sudden date nights become a thing of the past and you stop asking not just how was your day, but asking real questions about how your spouse feels. And it takes effort, it takes time to actually Especially and even if you've been married 30 years, I'm going to tell you this. I know this is going to sound so lovey-dovey, but when I actually take the time and some effort and ask questions about Anna and get to know her more, I go. There are things that I'm still learning about Anna, 30-something years later, that I love.

Speaker 3:

So once you figure out what your love language is, then you got to dig into it a little bit deeper. So if it's words of affirmation, for example, what kind of compliment will me and the most to them? Is it specific? Is it creative? Is it written? What communicates quality time? Is it talking? Is it going somewhere on a date? If it's gifts, what kind of gift means the most? Is it one that's kind of tied to when you were young and dating? Is it one that costs $10,000? Is it a? A Porsche doesn't cost $10,000. I was about to say a Porsche. A Porsche doesn't cost.

Speaker 1:

Maybe it's like 900,000 miles on it.

Speaker 3:

But figure out specifically what it is. Is it Would a great gift, be something that would be a huge surprise. And maybe and don't assume that the physical touch is always going to be something sexual Maybe it's a supportive hand on the shoulder or a massage or something like that. Figure out what it is, then figure out really creative ways to show love and maybe you start to see some A relationship that's kind of grown stale. Maybe you see a relationship that's healthy already get to an even greater level.

Speaker 2:

The reality is that you have to learn more about each other. So that means knowing the languages of each other better, knowing each other better. I have my own language story. So I was in Spanish in high school and the phrase we were supposed to translate. I did pretty well in Spanish and the phrase we were supposed to translate was I went skiing and broke my leg and I'm like I'm going to a lot of detail, but when I translated it I had it all right, except I had them breaking another body part. That was really kind of close to leg in Spanish but way different, wow, anyway, so the importance was I needed to learn more, I needed to know more.

Speaker 2:

And all of a sudden, believe it or not, I remembered something from college. I remembered something I learned in college and it was about this word to know someone, to know about someone. And I remember our teacher just talking about genoscop. The Greek word is genoscop and it really means to know intimately. Now the reality is this is used many times in the New Testament, but there are several uses of it, but all show knowing each other intimately. So you have to observe, to perceive or discern something it means to be aware of, to be acquainted with to comprehend. But I love this In Matthew 16.3,.

Speaker 2:

It means to know, it means to be an expert in when it's used there, and it also relates to the biblical definition of relationship when it comes to sex within marriage, that you are knowing each other that intimately so you can look at it and see, man, there's all these levels of to know each other. So you may say, well, yeah, I know them in a sexual sense or whatever else, but do you know them? Are you an expert in them? And am I an expert in Sarah? And the reality is that is a. Not because you're so complicated, it is a. It is a lifetime to learn more about her, to pursue her and say when I know you better, I can love you better.

Speaker 5:

And I think the key to that is taking the time to stop and observe. I don't know how many times we've been like halfway to church and I look over and I'm like, hey, Brad, you look good today I didn't even stop and look at you before we left the house. That says I trust your style.

Speaker 2:

Nice.

Speaker 5:

But but how many times are we so busy going about our day or thinking about ourselves and our needs that we don't really stop and observe and recognize what the person we love is doing that day, what they're good at that day, what they've, where they've won? And sometimes you'll point out something you're in the basement working some days and you'll point out something I said or did for the kids that I didn't even know you heard. And it boosts my spirit so much because I feel like somebody noticed, somebody saw and somebody took the time to point it out. And so when you stop and you watch and you observe, it brings all of that to your mind and if you can get yourself out of thinking just about yourself, Isn't it interesting that we make time like for everything else?

Speaker 3:

I mean, we make time to check our social media, we make time to watch our favorite show. What if you put one tenth of that time into observing and getting these things figured out, like Saracen?

Speaker 5:

And we all live in a selfie world where you go online and all you see is everybody drawing attention to themselves. Look what I did, look at my great food or this great vacation. To have somebody notice you rather than just talking about themselves is very refreshing. It really is.

Speaker 3:

So that is that word, genosco, that Greek word. Somehow, for some reason, I also looked this up in the Greek and there's actually two words. This was fascinating to me. There's two words that in the New Testament for no, oida, which it means knowing facts, and, like Brad said, genosco, which is knowing a person intimately. This was really interesting to me. Check this out.

Speaker 3:

Jesus uses the word genosco in John 10. My sheep know my voice and I know them. My sheep genosco my voice is intimate knowledge and I genosco them. I've got a deep knowledge. I know what makes them tick, I know what their heart is. He also says remember that terrifying verse in Matthew 7, get depart from me. I never knew you. That's genosco. Again, I didn't have a relationship with you. We did not have a relationship. So if we're focusing on our marriage, we can maybe run into some of the same problem. So let's get a little bit into here, anna. So can you I really hope you say yes to this Can you remember a time, anything specific, where you were loved in your love language, and maybe how it felt, what it meant to you? Please say yes.

Speaker 4:

I think it's the days that we just even go for walks in our neighborhood. It's just us walking, sometimes holding hands, and most of the time it's talking, and we're usually just out walking 20, 30 minutes and it's just us.

Speaker 3:

I actually had. No, I know it makes me sound clueless, but I need to remember. When Anna's saying, hey, do you want to go for a walk? She's not just asking, do you want to go get some cardio. This is how I feel loved, and I do still love holding your hand, by the way.

Speaker 2:

I love that, though, because the reality is that what you're saying there, doug, is so spot on that you need to know not just what they're asking, but what's behind what they're asking. Hey, can we go for a walk? And when Sam, I know that she wants to be able to pull away, spend some time together and I'll be like, well, all right, but I want to do dinner. Where should you go for dinner? All this, she's like we could just go out for a walk, we could just go sit outside somewhere for a little while. And it doesn't have to be. It's not always about a. That's part of knowing the language. It's not just how I interpret what she's saying through my lens, but what is she really saying when she asks a certain question? So, anna, that's great as far as just kind of the simplicity of that and what that means to you.

Speaker 3:

You want to hear something interesting. Anna and I were talking about this last night and she said I actually think that my love languages might have changed a little bit since I was younger. She said when I was younger, I think it was this. But now, as life has gotten busy and you have kids, she said now it's quality time over the gifts thing, and so I don't know if it's possible, according to the book, that it can change. But that's also something important to keep in mind, that you got to keep track, you got to keep communicating, because that language can even change a little bit.

Speaker 5:

That's what makes a marriage relationship so fun and so exciting is I'm not the person I was when we got married. It was my birthday yesterday and I was thinking about all the ways God has changed and stretched and grown me and I'm grateful. But if we had stayed in the exact same relationship we were when we got married, we would have a stale relationship. But there's always something new to discover, always something new to explore.

Speaker 2:

And I think that's part of why the advice our pastor, our church, ted Cunningham, who's been on our podcast with us a couple of times. It's one of the things that sticks out to me as far as his advice, because it helps keep a focus on making sure we are carving out time for each other and that he just encourages couples to have a daily delay where you were just pulling back for a few minutes and saying, hey, this is processing the day together and he said that can be five minutes and you have a weekly withdrawal. So you're taking time together. You're pulling away for a date of some sort. It doesn't have to be anything fancy or whatever else, but a date where you get a little more just time together to have fun together, to enjoy each other, to talk with each other.

Speaker 2:

And then he also says an annual abandon, and this is one, honestly, that we still are, because we love our kids and we love doing vacations together.

Speaker 2:

That we that's one that we have not perfected yet as far as going away alone each year, even for a night or two, but he does stress that that's important because again, you're shutting out the noise of the world for a couple of committed days, at least a couple of nights, and so that's just some advice for those who are listening. Maybe that encourages you. You're thinking how do I take simple steps to get to know them better, even if it's and we know, doug, and I have talked about this on several podcasts where you may not be in a great relationship, you may be in a hard place, you may be in a place where you feel like your marriage isn't going anywhere and things are falling apart. But don't give up on this. Keep inviting Jesus in and, as a couple, ask him to help you learn each other's love language better so that you can love each other more, the way Jesus loves us, and maybe those are some simple steps that'll help the daily delay, the weekly withdrawal and the annual abandon.

Speaker 3:

That's really good. I wonder if you're listening and your relationship is struggling a little bit. Don't try to solve everything in a day, but take a step. Take a step here and, even if it seems strange, maybe sit down with your wife. Sit down with your husband and say I want to know how to love you better. Believe me, they're going to like to hear you say this and I want to actually love you in a way that you feel loved.

Speaker 3:

You can even bring up these love languages. Maybe it's by sharing a book with them, or maybe it's just sitting down and going hey, I'm not sure I'm loving you the way that I need to be loving you. And, like Brad said, this one's really important too If you're struggling, talk together and pray together. I know that sounds like no duh, anna and I, in some of our hardest times, even when we don't feel like it and, yeah, there are times you don't feel like praying Maybe you're kind of chipped about something or upset about something, and we stop and we say we are going to go before the Lord together. And man it's powerful.

Speaker 2:

Sarah and Anna, what's something you would say? You're sitting here and you're in the shoes of someone that a spouse out there, a wife out there that is trying to process this and say, OK, these love languages and, yes, I love my husband. Well, man, it may be challenging, it may be going well, but what's a word of encouragement you would give to someone right now it's just trying to process? How do I apply some of this to my own life?

Speaker 5:

I would say um. I would say um. I would say um. I would say A key thing that I've had to learn is to let myself be loved. A lot of times I am very self-sufficient and I know women in general can be a little bit controlling, especially about their homes, and I remember when we first got married I didn't like how you folded the towels. They didn't fit my system in the closet, so I would criticize that.

Speaker 3:

But you were I'm sorry. You have a system for your closet.

Speaker 5:

You know what I don't mean in a wrong place. I did.

Speaker 3:

I'm trying to understand. Okay, I did.

Speaker 5:

Okay, continue Sure, sorry, but my love language is active service. Brad was giving me an active service and I, rather than receiving it, tried to tell him how to do it better, or how to do it my way, maybe, I should say, but even in other ways. When we go for a walk, brad always likes to walk between me and the road, and I'm still being corrected by that. Sometimes His hand will gently guide me over to the inside and I can be offended.

Speaker 5:

Well, you don't think I can take care of myself, like I don't need you to do all this stuff for me, and I like being strong, I like taking care of myself. And so I've had to stop and tell myself he's loving me Like he is representing. He's loving me the way Jesus loves the church. He stands in the gap, he puts himself in the place of danger to protect and to take care of me, and that is an act of receiving. That I've had to learn, that I've had to teach myself, that I've had to learn from Brad actually, because I didn't go into this marriage with that and to let myself receive that love and to let him pour out that love on me has made me a better person.

Speaker 3:

Sarah, brad told me he was trying to keep you from getting hit by a truck. That's pretty, but I mean that's kind of it's the.

Speaker 2:

Remember mom actually taught us that mom and dad, they modeled that for us. As far as because of when you're out walking, it's like I don't know why the guy's getting hit by the car, but that's the goal is protecting your spouse. So even the fact we got to see that modeled and let me say that real quick, whatever you model now, especially if you have children in the home, just know that you are modeling something that they may repeat in their lives, good or bad. So if you're modeling one of these love languages in a healthy way, wow, you could be changing generations to come.

Speaker 5:

Just yesterday I went on a walk with our 13 year old and he did the exact same thing.

Speaker 3:

Oh, that's awesome and my heart like leaped because I thought he was watching Brad's crying on my shoulder.

Speaker 5:

He's watching his father love me well.

Speaker 3:

Wow, wow. And he is imitating.

Speaker 5:

What a beautiful example.

Speaker 3:

Talk about ambassadorship all the time on this podcast. What a beautiful example of being an ambassador for Christ to your children. Anna is modeling just. We're talking about modeling love. She is modeling courage, because I'm gonna tell you that, if you're going, haven't heard a ton from Anna she. You know that there was a study that came out where, like the top five things people are fearful of, Number two was death. Number one was talking in front of people.

Speaker 3:

And so there are some who would rather die than talk to people, and that's Anna, but she's still this is how much she loves, and that's awesome.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, cause, what words of encouragement would you give to people who are listening and trying to process all this?

Speaker 4:

I would say from the start, looking for that person that you wanna spend your life with. One of the things that I think I looked for in spouse was just someone that could be a role model for my kids, and that's what Doug has been for our boys and I appreciate that. You know that's huge.

Speaker 3:

Kids, the idea that as you're looking for a spouse, or maybe your kids or grandkids are dating, maybe it's a good idea to know what these love languages are and see if you can help them, find someone that's able to help, and then find someone that's able to communicate those love languages. And I'll tell you this, my whole words of affirmation thing. Two days ago you might not even remember this, but, anna, we were watching something and she stopped. She put her hand on my shoulder and she said do you know how much I appreciate how you protect our family? And here's an example for our sons, and I mean the world stopped. Then you needed a minute.

Speaker 2:

Then I needed one right now. Wow, yeah, and I do love that. We said at the beginning for those listening that this isn't just for people who are married, because you are looking for certain things in a spouse, and so it's not just about hey, I'm married, let's figure this out, but hey, what are you looking for? Just your vision to seeing how God sees people and being able to see who he is leading you to. So I love that.

Speaker 3:

And what about saying thinking back to when you were looking for a spouse? You're married, it's been maybe 30 years and you remember something that they said to you or they did for you where you felt loved. You can even bring it back there. Just take the time to think through this relationship and don't lose hope if you're struggling. Take a step. Take a step.

Speaker 5:

I'm thinking back to that study about the divorce rate going up after children leave the home, and I think parents sometimes feel a little guilty focusing on their marriage because they're all about their kids and raising their kids and they're pouring everything they have into their family. And what I'm thinking is how great it is for the children to see their parents love each other well, and I wish those couples that are hitting 55 and 65 and finding disillusionment had invested more in that and the example that they would have been to their kids to see what it means to love each other well and to be able to model that in their lives rather than just seeing that the world is all about them and their parents' marriage suddenly has no purpose except the kids. So there's a lot of value in the family in what you're teaching your children and modeling for them.

Speaker 3:

As we're wrapping up here, here's the quick challenge Do one thing. Do one thing that you know is in the love language of the person that you love, the spouse. Figure out if you haven't been doing it, if things are getting a little stale, or even if things are great. Figure out one creative way to communicate that love to them in their language.

Speaker 2:

And if you're trying to figure out your love language, we will drop the link to the love language test in the podcast description. So check that out if you're like. Where do I find this out? You can find out that there as well. Hey, drop us a review, share this with a friend. We always appreciate that, and from all of us to all of you, until next time. You're the man.